summer in winterland

i took painkillers before my exam and i needed more after. but i resorted to my main lib coffee ritual. i took my usual walk to the sunken garden without spilling a drop. i sat down on a bench and i realized the reason why it was empty. the combination of the glare and the scorching sun was just painful and did nothing to help the brainfreeze i was experiencing then. i went looking for a shaded spot, coffee cup clumsily held in hand. i found one under a tree. and it reminded me of having shelter in the midst of a blizzard.

i looked around for something green. the trees seemed almost bare, their leaves like hair vanishing. most of the grass was brown save for a row.

summer in winterland. that was my condition within. painfully cold with the harsh winds. depressingly dry and burned out.

it rained earlier. my eyes weren't dry but my tears were shy. i saw a familiar bouncy walk not too far away before i went on my way. then i dropped by the tambayan and interrupted something for a hug and a not-so-good cry.

then came comfort in a friend's presence and in ice cream.

and prayers.

and blessings.

and now i'm hungry. so i must eat.

praise God for every little thing!

1 Peter 5:10

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

on death and dying

this strangely feels like a hangover
with every cell in my body screaming in pain
i would love to crawl into a grave and stay there
but i'll be dead in a while
i kept my groupmates waiting
i'll be off to class soon.


***i didn't have even a drop of alcohol yesterday and i've never been drunk.

drain

i finally pulled the plug
and watched
a dream go
down the drain
with a smile,
i said bye bye.

environment of grace

...speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ...

Ephesians 4:15

love without truth deceives
truth without love destroys

[from Forming a High Trust Culture]