kmusta?

i wish i could say i'm okay. but we're not. is my sadness so tangible that it draws dementors to come and feed on my pain? i still can't set foot on certain places without the memories washing over me. i'm torn between picking up the pieces and walking out of his life.

"love is so short, forgetting so long."

branches of a river

"Separated"
Usher

Oh no, no, no, no

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because it's not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby, you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Girl, I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl, you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you won't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated.


Oh Well
Boyz II Men

Since you've been gone I've been lonely
Longing to be with you only
Maybe there still is a way I can find you and say
Just how I feel.

I can't believe that's it's over
Wish somehow I could have showed her
All that was inside of my heart 'stead of playing the games
You might have stayed

Funny just the other night I was thinking
I wonder if you ever think about me
I call you on the phone, there's no answer

Oh Well, there's still tomorrow
Oh Well, I'll try again
Oh Well, maybe just maybe

Since you've been gone I've been lonely
Longing to be with you only
If there's a way I could beg you to stay would you please
Stay with me.

I was thinking maybe I could come over
Hoping we could finally work this out
Even if tonight we don't find an answer

Oh Well, there's still tomorrow
Oh Well, I'll try again
Oh Well, maybe just maybe

If I had another chance
We would stand hand in hand
You'll be my girl and I'll be your man
Oh Well, maybe just maybe we can.

I still call you on the phone still no answer
Maybe later on I'll try one more time
Or am I just a fool to keep trying

Oh Well, there's still tomorrow
Oh Well, a fool's what I am
Oh Well, maybe just maybe

Oh Well, there's still tomorrow
Oh Well, I'll try again
Oh Well, maybe just maybe
See if I got down on my knees and gave you every little part of
me.

Oh Well, there's still tomorrow
Oh Well, I'll try again
Oh Well, maybe just maybe

Since you've been gone I've been lonely.

Happily Ever After

The Fairy-tale Formula

• Don't let past bad luck cloud your vision of a brighter future. Have the courage to believe in a better life.
• Whoever you are, you are someone's ideal. Hold out for the person who sees you as his.

"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself." ~Victor Hugo

• Don't turn your tail on your beliefs trying to "win" a man. It's not a victory if you lose yourself.
• Hold yourself to your highest standards no matter how lowly a particular activity may seem. You never know how your actions may be paving the way toward your love.

"To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others." ~Francois Mauriac

• Wait for the person who feels right to you--not to your friends or family. Even if it seems life you've dated every man in town, the right match does exist.
• Don't let a bad experience with one man make you suspicious of the next. All men are not alike.
• Focus on finding the best in people, not the worst. You never know how a relationship will evolve.

"We attract people by the qualities we display; we retain them by the qualities we possess." ~Jean Suard

• Don't make people prove their love. Commitment tests and truth traps create suspicion, never devotion.

"If you would be loved, love and be lovable." ~Benjamin Franklin

• Don't fish for material solutions to relationship problems. No amount of money makes up for a mediocre match.
• Don't give up on love, even if you've been single for one hundred years. The length of time it takes is no reflection of your worth or appeal.

"He does not wait too long who waits for something good." ~Queen Christina of Sweden to Prince Karl Gustav

Wendy Paris

mist

the one who created my yearbook write-up wanted me to give him a word to plug into it just like milkshake in the movie "Before Sunrise." we agreed on mist. here's the polished version of what he came up with...

She looks at you with a pair of knowing eyes. Her dainty hands, swirling her mocha rhapsody with a straw, would at times sway, consciously or unconsciously, brush away a lock of her hair, easing its crease. You sit in front of her, coming up with something to say that she hasn’t known yet. And fail. Then she speaks. Somehow your most profound lines now sound like folly.

But don’t be intimidated, even though she is hardly one of those shallow, resilient lasses that you oftentimes meet in the lobby. In a conversation you glimpse her heart opening up; family, friends and the strife that disturbs them. And a frail tear rolls along her lithe cheek and all your shoddy assumptions about her wash away like a faint unveiling mist.

Yet even that is not enough to know her.

You both stand up as you are leaving Likha Diwa. Passing through its doors, you feel thankful that you’ve found a Christian with whom you can talk your soul out to. You say goodbye and she leaves you with a wave of her hand, a sort of bliss in your heart, and a bemused feeling that you’ll only have again in another conversation with her.

we never had a conversation over a cup of coffee and he had never seen me cry except when watching a movie. but we might never bare our souls to each other again...

milkshake

Poet: So, I would like to make a deal with you. I mean, instead of just asking you for money, I will ask you for a word. Yeah, You give me a word, I take the word, and then, and then I will write a poem, with the word inside. And if you like it, I mean, if you like my poem, and you feel it adds something to your life in any way, then you can pay me whatever you feel like. I will write in English, of course.




Selene: A word, uh... milkshake.




[poet begins to write]















[Poet finishes, and rips sheet from book]



[Poet approaches them]



Poet: Okay. [hands the sheet to them] Look at the poem.
Jesse: [takes poem] Oh, alright. [Opens it up]
Selene: [takes poem from Jesse, offers it back to Poet] Will you read it to us?
Poet: [Takes poem] Sure, okay. [Reads it]

Daydream delusion.
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and milkshakes [laughs]
I am a delusioned angel
I am a fantasy parade.
I want you to know what I think.
Don't want you to guess anymore.
You have no idea where I came from.
We have no idea where we're going.
Launched in life.
Like branches in the river.
Flowing downstream.
Caught in the current.
I'll carry you. You'll carry me.
That's how it could be.
Don't you know me [poet hands poem back]
Don't you know me by now.

"Delusion Angel" by David Jewell

kids

i knew they'd have access to secrets someday. the time had come. welcome to my life.

quench

after two cups of coffee
and how many drinks,
the lingering headache
slowly begins to dull.
i swallow the bitterness
with each glass poured
and long to quench my thirst
for meaning.
i gaze into the sky,
the moon stares back in
its fullness
and i wish to glimpse
the sunrise.
but the tinted glass
is like a veil separating me
from the dawning of the day
and all its beauty
lies out of reach.
i dream of dancing
to the beat of the drums
to the song that beckons to my soul.
the swirling music,
a rushing river
then silence.

quench

after two cups of coffee
and how many drinks,
the lingering headache
slowly begins to dull.
i swallow the bitterness
with each glass poured
and long to quench my thirst
for meaning.
i gaze into the sky,
the moon stares back in
its fullness
and i wish to glimpse
the sunrise.
but the tinted glass
is like a veil separating me
from the dawning of the day
and all its beauty
lies out of reach.
i dream of dancing
to the beat of the drums
to the song that beckons to my soul.
the swirling music,
a rushing river
then silence.

what does it matter?

my love couldn't keep you.

patheticity

i don't know what to write. but i have this immense need to empty myself of the emotions bubbling within before this armor of apathy fails me. i am tired of answering questions regarding my status. i am not in a relationship and i have no illusions of being in one right now. he may be in a relationship, but that doesn't mean i'm in it, too. simply said, he has a girlfriend and i just found out.

i hate the way he paints a captivating picture of me only to remind me that it was not and will never be enough. i will never be enough.

quartet

j'bee moments

ezem

Only Hope

Switchfoot

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write
over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have
for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope


it's not as easy as it seems. i couldn't even trust myself to be alone yesterday. everything seemed to be a source of pain. so i went on my rollercoaster ride of low lows and high highs. i am thankful that at the end of the day, my emotions somehow balance out.

v_exp

i learned something over the summer. no matter how much a guy loves a girl, he may get tired of waiting for her to mature... it isn't very assuring and it gives me this lingering feeling that i'm somehow unwanted even if i'm not the girl involved... i have no idea why i'm posting this. i guess it makes me examine my own maturity or immaturity, rather. and the possibility that i'll discourage someone someday. maybe this will shed more light regarding doing things in God's time and the disaster that comes from disobedience. i hope i make sense.

180 minutes of Digital Coloring & Painting

Start:	Aug 30, '05 1:00p
End:	Aug 30, '05 4:00p

Painter 9, KPT, and KnockOut tutorials

Start:	Aug 29, '05 1:00p
End:	Aug 29, '05 4:00p

Hosted by Corel, Wacom, and Microtek

digital art

Start:	Aug 29, '05 9:00a
End:	Aug 29, '05 11:30a

Tools, Tricks and Techniques using
Adobe Photoshop

lagoon

bday ni sir quiwa

Start:

Aug 7, '05

pi 100 exam

Start:

Aug 17, '05 8:30a

my independence day

Start:

Aug 19, '04

bday ni icing

Start:

Aug 16, '05

i will go

Here Am I

On the other side of the world
She stands on the ocean shore
Gazing at the heavens
She wonders, is there something more
Never been told the name of Jesus
She turns and walks away
What a shame

Just across the street in your hometown
Leaving from his nine-to-five
Gazing down the road
He wonders, is this all there is to life
Never been told the name of Jesus
He continues on his way
What a shame

Whom shall I send?
Who will go for Me?
To the ends of the earth
Who will rise up for their King
Here am I, send me
Here am I, send me

Whether foreign land or neighbors
Everyone's the same
Searching for the answers
That lie within your name
I wanna proclaim the love of Jesus
In all I do and say, Unashamed

Whom shall I send?
Who will go for Me?
To the ends of the earth
Who will rise up for their King
Here am I, send me
Here am I, send me

How beautiful are feet of those who bring good news
Proclaiming peace and your salvation

Whom shall I send
Who will go for me
To the ends of the earth
Who will rise up for their King
Here am I, send me
Here am I, send me
Here am I, send me

i will go...i hope. i've yet to ask for my parents' permission and seek God's guidance. this passion for the lost started building over the summer and His perfect love had been working in me, casting away my fears.

i will go...if He wills it.

ohana