dcbc

food

saganang ani

the difference

between last time and this time is you hit too close to home.

flesh wound versus fatal wound.

and so on.

i can only imagine

http://www.andiesisle.com/icanonlyimagine.html

a moment in silence

i look up from my phone's screen
and find you smiling at me
asking if you could take a seat with me
here in the shade
speechless, i smile and nod
a glance tells me you're writing
i open my Bible
and reflect on God's word
you ask nothing of me
not even my name
but it seems like your silence
tells me so much more than words ever could
my phone beeps
and the moment ends
as i leave you in silence

paki-usap

dahil mahal kita
ayaw kong masundan mo
ang aking mga yapak
sa pagluha.

bago ka niya masaktan,
lumayo ka na.

sana makinig ka.

ignored

you're not answering my messages
i'd like to know why
are you doing it on purpose?
is there a good reason?
did you fall asleep?

i NEED answers.

fascination

It's a wonder that I didn't foresee the cataclysm, but then I never really envision the finish of anything I start. It's the risk that fascinates, the moment of infinite possibility. It lures me through eternity when all other charms fail.

~ Lestat, Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice

doormat

you sit there saying WELCOME
only to be stepped on and ignored
or used to wipe the dirt off their feet
it's your fault why you weep

tahan na

'wag ka nang lumuha
pagod na akong umiyak

guess what?

i know.

tally

people told

||||

beaten

it drains me to have to fight
when i need your hand to help me up
and it saddens me to feel this way
while you act like you don't even care

In This Moment

I come to You in this moment
I want to seek your face
To linger in Your presence
To feel the touch of grace
I want to know Your spirit
I want to learn to pray
Teach me to love You and obey

In this moment
May my heart be true
In this moment
May my eyes see You
May my life be a reflection of the light of Your perfection

In this moment
Turn my mind from earthly things
That never satisfy
And give me deep devotion
For this is my desire
To honor You in all I do
To love You with my life
Oh break my heart and make my heart into the heart of Christ

In this moment
May my heart be true
In this moment
May my eyes see You
May my life be a reflection of the light of Your perfection

As I seek to find You here
Call my name and draw me near
As I pray to know You Lord
Flood my heart and make it Yours

In this moment
May my heart be true
In this moment
May my eyes see you
May my life be a reflection of the light of Your perfection

My I find my true direction
In this moment

i was ripe for a good cry since yesterday but the flood came when they started singing the chorus of that song. all i could do was weep in my broken state. and praise Him still.

related posts by...
bass and dusty faerie

from a gardener to a flower...

remember your first true love...
the one that made you drunk with hormones...
the one that made you dizzy with delight...
the one that made you act really stupid...
it doesn't come often...

flower: i want someone who will really respect me and be sensitive and all that
gardener: Lalake ba talaga gusto mo?
flower: oo.
flower: extinct na ba yun? or never nag-exist?
gardener: From a gardener to a flower...
gardener: don't be in a hurry...
gardener: it is way, waaaaaaaayyyy overrated.
flower: someone recently gave me a note that said we must become queens 'coz we're asking for kings
gardener: exactly. Queens are hard to find, shucks...
gardener: being a Christian doesn't automatically make you one, btw.
flower: yup
flower: she's planning to go from warthog to queen
flower: i think swan to princess sounds nicer
gardener: warthog to queen is interesting...
flower: it sounds very difficult, too
gardener: yeah.

gone

i just came from sipping coffee by myself at the sunken garden.
and i found myself analyzing why i turn to coffee for comfort.
perhaps its bittersweet taste captures life's flavors.
i drank it in. then i stared at the empty cup in my hand.
the coffee was gone. so i stood up and walked away
from the bench where i was sitting
towards the complexities of life that await me.

rhyme time

i just saw a white puppy
it was cute and cuddly
playful and chubby
it makes me miss quicky

to the gardener prince

"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

~Antoine de Saint Exupéry, The Little Prince

innovate.

when the system fails you, you must learn to work your way around it. to outsmart it even.

the choice once again was between me and you. if i did as you said, the unreasonable professor would have told as to redo the out of sync video. and it would have only affected your grade. the problem would still have fallen on me since you would have no part in the editing. i'm not complaining. just don't rush me to submit a work i'm not yet satisfied with. the progress report... like i told you, i finished the subtitles the other night. i spotted one or two grammatical errors, but i'm not willing to go through the editing again. they were right when they said that windows movie maker sucks. i find myself pining for adobe premiere. the direct conversion's audio lags behind the video. i downloaded another converter, but its trial version allows for half the video only. so i wrapped it to make it twice its length.

besides, you don't even know this blog exists. i guess this is what happens when you're working with someone who doesn't know you. they cannot understand you so you find yourself creating a pretend conversation.

in case you didn't figure this out, there was one other system mentioned that required innovation. communication.

the grinch within

he starts to feel
and wonders why
he's leaking...

hand in Hand

she walks in darkness
her hand feels so small in Yours
should You not shed light on her path,
grant her faith to give her sight.

the grinch within

he starts to feel
and wonders why
he's leaking...

hand in Hand

she walks in darkness
her hand feels so small in Yours
should You not shed light on her path,
grant her faith to give her sight.

true...

where's the good in goodbye?

Separate Lives

Phil Collins



You called me from the room in your hotel


All full of romance for someone that you met


And telling me how sorry you were, leaving so soon


And that you miss me sometimes when you’re alone in your room


Do I feel lonely too?





You have no right to ask me how I feel


You have no right to speak to me so kind


We can’t go on just holding on to time


Now that we’re living separate lives





Well I held on to let you go


And if you lost your love for me, well you never let it show


There was no way to compromise


So now we’re living (living)


Separate lives





Ooh, it’s so typical, love leads to isolation


So you build that wall (build that wall)


Yes, you build that wall (build that wall)


And you make it stronger





Well you have no right to ask me how I feel


You have no right to speak to me so kind


Some day I might (I might) find myself looking in your eyes


But for now, we’ll go on living separate lives


Yes for now, we’ll go on living separate lives


Separate lives

shopping rules

josh's mom taught him two rules of grocery shopping. yes, we're that close. =p

First, never shop when you're hungry--everything will look good and you'll spend too much money. And second, make sure to pick a good cart.

~Joshua Harris

he related the second one with relationships. basically, some of the girls he dated were considered as bad carts. the direction they had in mind did not coincide with his. the term he used was a battle of wills. besides wasting time and energy arguing with a person, they couldn't possibly glorify God together in that relationship if they don't share the idea that they should.

i'd like to share my thoughts on the first rule in relation to dating. when you want someone too much, there is a tendency that you'll compromise your convictions and standards. you'd be swamped with regrets later when you finally realize your mistake, wondering why a so-and-so guy actually looked good. vulnerability clouds judgment...

one assumption when someone goes shopping is that he can afford to do so. i think it should be explicitly stated since people become intimate with others only to realize that we either could not afford to or are not willing to commit yet. my discipler was right. i blamed myself for my mistakes. but he also has a part in it no matter how many times he washes his hands. God is gracious to me. i shouldn't listen to the enemy's accusations. i am now basking in the freedom of forgiveness.

try reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye (again) and see if you agree with my opinions. =)

deluge

the ice melts
and the tears come
this heart aches
all over again

glossy reflections

no longer do i find the melancholy of this blog unsettling. maybe it has to do with my learning to breathe again, not just literally... it might even have to do with realizing my helplessness. no matter how i plan and badger people to cooperate, things don't lie in my hands. as much as i'd like to bless someone with each entry, i can't help but express what i go through with words that may or may not be wise. perhaps one element i shouldn't fail to remember is the authenticity of what i share. forget the pressure of sounding righteous, who needs man's praise? i believe i could glorify God more if i do not gloss over my weaknesses since it would also show how He pulled me out of that struggle. perhaps others could even relate to my circumstances and wouldn't feel so alone. there is always hope. we just fail to look to God sometimes.

sugar-dizzy

too much sweet
makes you sick
way too heavy
i feel queasy :S